Malati Mathur


WHAT YOU ARE

I have paid the price
For being what I am,
I proclaim with pride.
I have withstood icy glances,
Burning words, entombing silences;
Merciless shutting of emotional doors;
Smouldering resentment that flashed cruelly
Like bloodstained swords in battle;
The sharp knives of induced guilt;
The tear bursts of hope denied;
The burden of sorrowful resignation.
But the path of my convictions beckoned,
I set out on the stony road to fulfil
Perhaps in part, the grasping tenacity of my will.
What delusions did I foster in my blind heart?
When did I become oblivious
To the call of need in loving eyes?
I now look around me and see all those
Who have paid the price too –
Not for being what they are
But for my being what I am.


SYMPATHY IS A HALF WAY HOUSE

Sympathy is a half way house -
A handy retreat for those
Who do not wish to be involved.
Give me plain indifference any day,
The casual shrug of the shoulder,
The washing off of hands.
This sympathy lies like a burden
That can neither be borne
Nor thrust away carelessly.
It insinuates itself slyly,
Lurking around the edges
Of your mind like an unwanted suitor.
It pretends to show concern,
It enquires effusively,
All the while looking shifty-eyed away
From the gaping wounds of your spirit.
Oh, sympathy can be wonderful –
For the sitters-on-the-fence,
The perhaps-friends, the maybe-family.
I know – sympathy is a safety harness
For those who fear to crawl out of
The cocoon of comfortable feeling
And fall off the cliff of security
Into the terrifying intensity of commitment.


MOTHER

The white hair of the ancient sea
Is tossed back in defiance of the wind
As the waves surge to the shore
Ceaselessly like worry;
Water strokes the sand rhythmically
With the touch of a lullaby
The softness of the brown wrinkles
Pitted with the footprints of Time;
The knotty driftwood washes up
Like gnarled fingers worn with caring
The delicately tinted earlike shells cherishing
The voices of children in their core;
The blue immensity embraces the world…
My mother smiles from its silken folds.
Malati Mathur has a doctorate in Australian  Literature and is on the Faculty of English, the
Indira Gandhi National Open University, New Delhi.  She is an award winning translator and
translates from and between Tamil, Hindi and English.  She is also a creative writer and has
published stories, essays and articles.